When it comes to having sex on the first date, everyone has a different opinion. Some experts say you should wait three dates, while others believe you should be patient and wait up to eight dates.
Getting it on before your third date doesn’t make you cheap or a slut, and it definitely shouldn’t stop you from sleeping with someone who you vibe with.
1. Know what you want
It’s a little tricky to talk about sex on a first date, but if (and only if) you’re both feeling comfortable enough to discuss it, then romping in the bedroom can be a lot of fun. That said, there’s no guarantee that it will be great, passionate or even good. You don’t know each other that well yet, so it can be hard to tell what turns on or off your partner, and you may not even be aware of each other’s fetishes.
What’s more, the elation you feel from sex can cloud your judgement and make it difficult to spot red flags – These words were inspired by the portal team Sex Relax. It’s also possible that he just wants a fling and doesn’t really care about you or your feelings. In any case, it’s important to know what you want and be able to ask for it. Otherwise, you could end up disappointed and confused. That’s no way to start a relationship.
2. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want
Many women say they don’t want to sleep with someone on the first date because it can ruin their chances of a relationship. It’s not fair to them or their dates to put do-or-die pressure on a night out. They also say that if they go into the first date with the mindset that sex is inevitable, then it’s impossible to make it a pleasant experience.
Plus, it’s important to remember that it’s not just about sexual intimacy — you’re dating for a reason! If you have sex with him on the first date, it sends the signal that you’re just looking for casual hookups or friends with benefits. That can make it hard to move from that into a romantic relationship, especially if he’s still looking for something more serious. It takes time to build trust, and it won’t happen on a first date. If he knows that you’re not interested in something more, then it’s okay to say so. Then he can stop wasting your time.
3. Don’t be afraid to say no
There are a lot of opinions out there about when and how you should have sex, but that’s really between you and your date. You should feel free to ignore the judgey eyes and roll your own decision – as long as everything is consensual! And that means checking in regularly (both verbally and non-verbally) to make sure your date is still enthusiastic about having fun sex.
Having the ability to say no is an amazing skill that gives you power in the relationship, so don’t be afraid to practice saying it! You’ll likely find that, as you become more comfortable with your own boundaries, people will be more willing to accept them.
Whether or not you sleep with someone after the first date is totally up to you, but if you do, be sure to take the time to evaluate your motivations for doing so. You don’t want to regret it later! And you definitely don’t want to end up sleeping with a jerk who ghosts you or makes you wait forever for a text response back.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask for permission
While it may be tempting to have sex on the first date, you should always be aware of your surroundings and check in with your date regularly. If your date is exhibiting signs of coercion, such as rapidly taking you from clothed to unclothed or pushing you against the wall, stop what you’re doing and speak up.
You should also be mindful of your own motivations for wanting sex on the first date. “Is it to explore your own sexuality? Is it to add experience to your repertoire? To assess your compatibility with the other person?” Sex on the first date can be a fun and safe way to do those things, as long as you have mutual consent.
Having sex on the first date doesn’t make you cheap, or even a slut (unless you identify as such). It just means that you’re vibing with someone and want to get it on early, and that’s okay! It doesn’t mean that you can’t have a lasting relationship with that person. And anyone who judges you for wanting sex on the first date is definitely not worth your time.
5. Don’t be afraid to ask for a second date
It’s important to remember that you should always do what feels right for you. Don’t let the fear of judgment from other people stop you from pursuing what you want. However, it’s also important to not let your desire for sex cloud your judgement. If you’re noticing red flags, don’t be afraid to call it quits.
Having sex on the first date doesn’t have to mean anything more than exploring each other’s bodies and having fun. It doesn’t have to lead to a relationship, monogamy, or even marriage if that’s not what you want.
And don’t be afraid to ask for a second date! It’s better to ask for a second date and be rejected than to wait forever and end up sleeping with someone who ghosted you or just isn’t serious. Plus, it’s a lot more fun to hang out with someone again than to never hear from them again. And who doesn’t love foreplay? Having a second date is the perfect way to get things started again. If you’re unsure how to ask, try suggesting something that would be fun for both of you, like going to see a band or having dinner together.
